The Noxus Shores
by ViLovesCaitlyn
Summary: Join the annoying yet heart-catching champions of Noxus on a stunning reality TV show where the must partake in many strenuous obstacles such as human sacrifice and licking Urgot's toes! JUST GOOGLE NOXUS FAN ART AND YOU WILL FIND A POST THAT SAYS NOXUS: FORVER STRONG IT'S THE COVER IMAGE FOR THIS FIC XD BTW VOTE BY GOING TO MY PAGE AND CLICKING ON THE POLL THAT IS ON MY PAGE XD!
1. Episdode 1: I AM NOT UGLY! Part One

"Hello ladies and gentle-"

"HEY! I WANNA INTRODUCE THE CONTESTENTS! SO GIMME THE MIKE!" Ben cut in.

"You can have the mike tommorow! Today is Bek's day! And I'm pretty sure I'm Bek, not you..."

"NO WAY! I'M BEK! You don't even look like a Bek...LET ALONE THE BEK!"

"But...YOUR BEN! I'M BEK!"

"NOPE!"

"YEA I AM!"

"NO WAY! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR US TO BOTH BE THE SAME BEK!"

"IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!"

"So you agree? Well it's settled I must be the one and only Bek!"

"What...? NO! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY BEK! YOU'RE BEN! SO I AM KEEPING THE FREAKING MIKE!"

"Soooooooooooooooo...what I'm hearing is...you're Ben, AND I'M BEK! GOOD IT'S SETTLED THE MIKE IS MINE! XD?"

"FINE YOU'RE BEK! BUT IT'S BEN'S TURN ON THE MICROPHONE TODAY, and if you're Bek, I'm Ben!"

"YAY IT'S MY TURN! I'M BEN! YOUR BEK! AND IT'S MY TURN!"

"This isn't even worth it, just take the damn microphone already," Bek sighed in defeat as he handed the oh-so-treasured microphone to his twin. Ben smiled striking a goofy pose in his victory. "Hello fellow summoners! I'm Ben, and this here is Bek, my wonderful co-host. We bring to you today a day that will forever be remembered in history as the best day ever; THE DAY NOXUS SHORES BEGAN! So allow me to introduce the contestants you will soon grow very, very fond-or loathsome-of!"

"May I introduce to you the once-beautiful, yet still um...stunning? Cassieopea! First Daughter of the grand general of Noxus!" Ben beamed. Soon after a a half-woman-half-snake..erm..thing?Slithered on to the stage. "Who are you calling, 'once-beautiful'?'" the woman-snake questioned with a large amount of venom. Metaphorical venom BTW. Not the real stuff, although I see how you could have been confused.

"Now second up to the plate, you know him, ladies you love him, men you envy him, and to all of those who have ever met him, you want to strangle him! Give a big round of applause to the maginificent, glorious DRAVEN!" A tall, tan, and muscular man trotted across the stage. "It isn't Draven! IT'S DRAAAAAAAAAVEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN!" The man smirked as he juggled his axes and then blew kisses to the ladies in the crowd.

"Now! Marvel in awe and cower in your seats at the glorificus han-"

"HEY! I don't need some damn fru-fru introduction! Name's Darius, I'm The Freaking Hand of Noxus! And if you look at me wrong I will remove your head from your shoulders!" The tall, buff man-who looked a bit like Draven-grumbled, his armor heavy shifting up and down as he walked to stand next to his brother.

"You've met her sister! You've probably heard of her father! I present to you...the beautiful, yet deadly, Katarina Du Couteau!" Ben gestured at the stunningly-beautiful red-head that entered the room. She pierced the souls of the crowds before her with her seemingly-glowing green eyes. Then Katarina made her way over to her sister, Cassieopea, almost immeditaley afterwards the two started bickering.

"Erm," Ben said trying to ignore the death-glares from Darius, and the impending fist fight that was about to break out between the Du Couteau sisters, "Next up is the brilliant, stragetic mind we all know as the new grand general of Noxus, Jericho Swain and his faithful..um...bird?" Swain hobbled over to stand next to Ben, his 'raven' eyeing the nervous host. "Her name is Beatrice."

"GIVE IT UP FOR THE HULK OF ALL CHAMPIONS! MUNDO! HE GOES WHERE HE PLEASES, AND WHERE HE PLEASES IS WHERE HE PLEASES!" A giant purple monstrosity lumbered up to the stage, staring blankly at the crowd, scratching his neck and then turning around. "MUNDO!" the purple 'man' roared!

"Her journey was one of redemption! Her journey was tough brutal, and without destination! Her journey has brought her many places, but today, ladies and gentlemen her journey brings her here, to The Shores Of Noxus. I present to you...drumroll please..RIVEN! THE ALBINO WITH A HEART!" Riven walked straight ahead stood, looked towards the crowd, and bowed her head.

"Well..um that was strange anyway..next up is Leblanc! This rose has thorns! Which is actually quite fair considering she is the Matron of the Black Rose." Leblanc-or should i say Leblancs-walked up and stood in front of the crowd, pulling a rose out of no where and then throwing it into the masses of people. "It's all just smoke and mirrors, I assure you."

"She was shunned by her people! Shunned by her family! Shunned by her sister! Kicked out of her only known home! I GIVE YOU MORGANNA! THE FALLEN ANGEL..AND AMAZING CHEF!" Morganna flew in, eating a ominously purple muffin, "What? I bake sometimes..."

"UGHH THIS IS GETTING BORING! Anyway blahblahblah...here's Talon! He's an assassin!" Talon, a man clad in purple, walked onto the stage, glaring at Ben for such a shoddy introduction.

"NOW LETS SEE! HURMPHH! SO MANY FREAKING PEOPLE LEFT! WELL THEY ARE ALL UGLY ABOMINATIONS! SION, URGOT, WARWICK, VLADIMIR, AND SINGED!" Three horrid man-beasts composed of animal fur and rotting flesh fumbled onto stage. They were soon followed by a young blonde-haired vampire, and a man covered in bandages. "HEY! SURE SINGED IS A LITTLE FUGLY, BUT WE AREN'T GROSS MONSTERS DAMMIT LIKE THOSE GUYS DAMMIT!" Vlad protested as he gestured to him and Singed and then to the actual monsters.

"Whatever! ANYWAY! Commerical break!"

HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO GET RID OF KILLSTEALERS RUINING YOUR K/D RATIO! WELL NOW YOU CAN! WITH VIKTOR'S KS ME NOT DEATH RAY! THOSE NOOBS KS YOU AGAIN? GO AHEAD SHOW EM A KILL! USE THEIR BODIES AS A DEMONSTRATION! 'Viktor's KS Me Not' death ray does not hold any responsibility for fatal situations. Batteries not included.


	2. Episode 1: I AM NOT UGLY! Part two

"Hellllooooooooooooooo, ladies and gentlemen-"

"HEY IT'S MY TURN TODAY!"

"NO FREAKING WAY! YESTERDAY WAS YOUR TURN! TOMMOROW WILL BE YOUR TURN AGAIN...BUT TODAY IS BEK'S-AKA MY-DAY!"

"No, you said, and I qoute, 'You can have the mike tommorow! Today is Bek's day! And I'm pretty sure I'm Bek'! Today was tommorow! THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING! NOW GIMME THE MIKE!"

"Yeah I did say that but then you said, 'YAY IT'S MY TURN! I'M BEN! YOUR BEK! AND IT'S MY TURN'!"

"I don't remember saying that...therefore, I didn't say that. I think. EITHER WAY, I TOTAAAAAATLLLLLY REMEMBER YOU SAY-

Ben-at least I am pretty sure it was Ben-got cut off mid-sentence by a flying coconut thrown by the one and only Mu-

"MUNDO!"

Oh, well he said it for you. I am going to get run out of the narrating buisness if people keep interupting me...

The purple man shrugged, "Puny man annoy MUNDO!"

"Oh, tell me about it, I have been living with that ding-a-ling for ag-"

AND WA-BAM! OUT WENT BEK! Knocked unconcious by a different coconut thrown by S-

"Name's Sion, that was for his shoddy intro," out of no where a purple minion that was spray-painted red pointed at the two co-hosts and then whispered (who knew minions could talk? Not me) into Sion's ear, "Oh, wrong host, I like hitting people too..." AND WHAM! ANOTHER COCONUT HIT POOR BEN ON THE HEAD. Yeah, Ben might be at the hospital for a while due to all those coconut trama. And the fact the Sion decided to kick him in to stomach too. No one really ever got Ben, even when he was a child...but that's a story for another day.

Where are they getting all these damn coconuts? I mean I know it's 'The Shores of Noxus,' but they aren't even at the beach yet. OOPS! Spoiler alert DX.

COMMERICAL BREAK!

YOU'VE HEARD OF THE PURPLE MINION! YOU'VE HEARD OF THE BLUE MINION! YOU'VE HEARD OF THE SUPER MINION! BUT HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE...drumroll please... METAL MINION! CRATED FROM STEEL BY THE MASTER OF METAL HIMSELF! NEED I SAY MORE? NO, OF COURSE NOT! BUT I WILL! NO I WON'T, NOW THAT I THINK OF IT! Metal Minions are not fuctional. Ever. And I mean ever.

"I am your subsitute co-host, Caitlyn, and over here is your other subsitute co-host,..." Caitlyn put the mike up to Vi's face, but Vi just shoved it away and continued comparing her gauntlets to her...erm...chest? I don't get payed enough to do this...

"Um just one moment please," Caitlyn explained to the crowd as she nudged Vi in the ribs.

It didn't work so she did it again. Nothing. Again. Nope. Again. Negative. Again. Notta. Again. Nope. Caitlyn, realizing it was never gonna work, smacked Vi in the back of the head.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR CAIT?"

"I nudged you a total of 6 times and you didn't respond. What in the world could you possibly be doing?"

"Well if you must know...I am comparing my breast size to my gauntlet size, making sure everything is proportional."

" 'Somtimes I wish i never ask things.' Well..."

"Well what?"

"Why are you doing it?"

"UGHH! That bitch Jinx said my gauntlets made by boobs look small! **WHAT DOES THAT DAMN PENTTAKO KNOW ABOUT BOOBS ANYWAY**?"

"Ugh..stop being a child and help me explain today's activities,"

"Fine, but you have to help me with this later."

"Erm...*gulp*...fine, Vi."

"Aww don't worry Cupcake! You aren't my type!"

Relived-yet slightly offended-that she wasn't being hit on by Vi, Caitlyn began to explain what the stars of 'The Shores Of Noxus' would be doing today.

**In the newly-found champion's housing bathroom...**

" I'M NOT UGLY! YOU'RE UGLY!"

"NO FREAKING WAY! YOUR FUGLY FACE IS COVERED IN BANDAGES! YOU KNOW WHY? CUZ YOU'RE UGLY AS **F#$%**"

"YEAH? YOU'RE COVERED IN FREAKING SCALES! AND YOU HAVE A FREAKING MOTHER **F$#!ING** TAIL!"

"YEAH? WELL AT LEAST I AM NOT COVERED IN SELF-INFLICTED BURNS! SO SHUT YOUR FUGLY MUG!"

"Well, at least when I do my make-up and hair I don't look like **f!#ing** slutzilla XD"

THAT WAS FREAKING IT! NO ONE, NOT EVEN KAT, INSULTED CASS'S MAKEUP AND HAIR. Cass punched Singed right in the face. Yeah, neither of them looked that pretty, but Singed was in the lead, even with his self-inflicted burns and newly aquired black-eye.

"Dude, I wouldn't brag about if your make up looks better than her," Vlad said to the now-groaning-in-pain alchemist.

**In the kitchen at the housing...**

"STOP EATING THE CHICKEN IN FRONT OF BEATRICE!"

"MUNDO EAT'S WHAT HE PLEASES!"

"I DON'T GIVE A **F&%** "

"MUNDO EAT CHICKEN NOW! OR HE EATS YOU!"

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY YOU OVER-GROWN EGGPLANT!"

"NO ONE CALLS MUNDO AN EGGPLANT YOU PENTTAKO!"

What the hell is an pentakko? And why did Mundo know something Swain did not?...'Hey..wait didn't I read that a pentakko was a?...oh no you didn't...!'

"I HAVE BEAUTIFUL BREASTS YOU FLABBY ABOMINATION!"

"MUNDO'S BREAST ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL!"

"NU-UH"

"YU-HUH"

_'All I wanted to do was get some freaking food, and I walk into whatever the hell this is,'_ Katarina thought to herself as Swain was giving the heimlich to a flailing Mundo who refused to open his mouth.

"SPIT OUT THE DAMN CHICKEN YOU OAF!"

"MRNRDO SREY NRO!" Mundo replied through a closed mouth full of chicken as he tried to keep from allowing the food to spew out.

Katarina slowly backed out of the room.

**In the library of the champions housing...**

"GIVE ME THE FREAKING 'HOW TO KILL YOUR SIBLING' BOOK!"

"NO IT'S MINE! NOW BACK OFF YOU OLD HAG!"

"I AM NOT OLD!"

"YOU'RE LIKE A TRILLION YEARS OLD!"

"YOU'RE MOM IS LIKE A TRILLION YEARS OLD! AND I LOOK GREAT FOR MY AGE!"

"PISS OFF YOU CRYPT KEEPER!"

"I HAVE A BETTER IDEA! GO **F&%$** YOURSELF WITH YOUR HAND OF NOXUS!"

"IT'S NOT _MY_ HAND OF NOXUS! I'M _THE_ HAND OF NOXUS"

"LIKE IT MATTERS! JUST USE YOUR AXE!"

"SHUTUP YOU INFERIOR BITCH!"

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME INFERIOR? AND A _BITCH_? KAYLE'S A BITCH! I'M NOTHING LIKE KAYLE! I'M THE SUPERIOR SIBLING!"

"NOW GIVE ME THE DAMN BOOK YOU DUMBASS-OVER-DECORATED-MALL-COP!"

**_"MAKE ME!"_**

**_"FINE I WILL!"_**

Morganna pulled out a multitude of muffins and pelted Darius with them.

"TOLD YOU I LIKED TO BAKE!"

"WELL THEN GO BAKE YOUR SELF A GARLIC KNOT AND HANG YOURSELF WITH IT!"

Sion somehow managed to sleep through all of this. Go figure.

**Meanwhile, in the gym of the champion's housing...**

"GIVE ME THE 50 POUND WEIGHT! NOW!"

"NO! I HAD IT FIRST!"

"_NO_ YOU DIDN'T!"

"_YES_ I DID YOU OVERSIZED LAP-DOG!"

"SHUTUP UGLYASFUCK!"

"_KARTHUS_ IS UGLYASFUCK! NOT ME!"

"FINE, YOU CAN BE UGLYASFUCK _THE SECOND_"

"THAT IS ALL I ASK. NOW GIVE LET GO OF _MY_ WEIGHT!"

"NO I NEED IT MORE YOU BALL OF LARD! YOU'RE DEAD! IT'S PHYSICALLY _IMPOSSIBLE_ FOR YOU TO BUILD MUSCLE!"

"YEAH WELL YOUR A FREAKING _WALKING, TALKING_ FIDO! I'M PRETTY **F#$%^&^%$ING** SURE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE _TOO_!"

"_I AM NOT A FIDO!_ I AM A WOLF GET IT RIGHT YOU FUGLY DUMB-F *$! AND I'M HERE AREN'T I? WHERE AS ANY SIGN OF MUSCLE IN YOUR BODY IS NON-EXSISTENT!"

"Erm...sir? _Thing_? Allow Urgot to use the 50 pound weight! He's flabby!"

"STFU RIVEN! THIS IS MY BATTLE! MY SOON-TO-BE WEIGHT! ALL OF THIS IN HERE IS MINE! AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME WELL..WELL!" And with that Warwick urinated on the bench press, obviously marking is territory. Not because he couldn't hold it. Badasses like Warwick are the masters of their own bladders.

Riven face palmed. Urgot shot acid at the benchpress to delete the poor thing out of exsistence.

"Damn pentakkos..." Vi muttered to herself as she watched the live-streaming-video-footage, "So effing stupid..."

YEAH, SO I AM GONNA MAKE A PART THREE OF THIS CERTAIN ERM..MULTI-CHAPTER..NO UM...EPISODE? YEAH EPISODE XD!

YOU HAVE GOT UP TO WHEN I MAKE PART THREE OF, 'I'M NOT UGLY!', TO CHOOSE WHO YOU WANT VOTED OFF. XD! I DEMAND REVIEWS!


	3. Pool Party Part 1: Make It Pop For Me

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Caitlyn and this is..."

"Vi"

"And we are your now-permanent co-hosts of the show! Ben and Bek had some...erm...problems..."

"Problems, cupcake? Cho'Gath _ate _them!"

"As I was saying, they had _problems."_

"Moving on, today is the first challenge of 'The Shores of Noxus'"

"I'm pretty 'shore' it's the Noxus Shores, cupcake."

"Vi, stop correcting me!"

"I wouldn't need to correct you if you weren't always wrong XD"

"DX"

"Anyway...lets see you little dipshits...ah, yes! Pool party! The champions will be working the champion's pool party, and later on a champion will be voted off...blahblah...people can be safe by being complained about the least, and all that shit."

" VI!"

"What?"

"Did you just call our audience _dipshits?"_

"Um...no...yes..Yes, I did! What ya gonna do about it cupcake?"

Caitlyn grabbed her rifle and smacked Vi on the back of the head with it.

"Dafuq cupcake?!"

"You did ask me what I was going to do about it ;)"

"Well played Cait, well played indeed...but two can place this game!"

All of a sudden Vi jackhammered (I am not sure if that's the right word but i am gonna use it anyway because I want to XD) her pointer finger and her index finger into Caitlyn's ribcage, twisting and digging into in to the pressure point.

"STOP...HAHAHA..STOP!...HAHA..YOU BITCH...STOP IT...HAHA!" Caitlyn laughed/yelled/cried.

"Caitlyn did you just say bitch on television?" Vi asked in mock accusation and suprise as she removed her hand from her partner's ribcage.

"...!" And with that exclamatory silence, Caitlyn punched Vi right in her left boob.

Vi let out a groan and muttered, "You little F8!#," as she sank to the ground.

Caitlyn wore a smug smile , "And as I was saying-"

Vi grabbed Caitlyn by the ankle and dragged her down to the ground, "HAHA BITCH!"

"F &! you Vi!"

"Sorry Cupcake, I don't do that on the first date XD"

":|" 'One day I'm gonna bitch slap her, maybe when we sit in our old folks home, yes then I will bitch slap that pentakko' Caitlyn thought to herself with an unamused look on her face.

"Huh, I feel like someone just called me a pentakko...probably that flat-chested bitch Jinx... "

"Well, Vi, it runs in the family :)"

"... _|_" BTW that was a middle finger, not a you-know-what; one game i flipped off sion and he said is that a D!#K?

"I'm sorry Vi..."

"No you aren't, but i forgive you cupcake XD!"

"...;_; Dx..." Caitlyn knew Vi very rarely forgave people...this is gonna get scary...

At the champion's housing...poor Caitlyn...

"Hey I wonder if Ahri will be there..." Draven said as he continued to ponder over which swimming trunks to where...the shiny ones, or the shinier ones?

"Of course she'll be there dude...but the real question is which bikini is she gonna wear?" Talon responded.

"I hope she wears the red one, it makes it all pop!"

"I hope she wears the purple one, then we'll match."

"Nah! The purple one reminds me of mundo...everything purple reminds me of Mundo...if i eat an eggplant it gives me mundo-filled nightmares-"

"DID SOMEONE SAY MUNDO?!"

"No, now go away!"

They did say Mundo, but when Mundo came he was still getting dressed, so he had nothing to cover up his junk...creepy horrible images that can never be unlearned. Poor children watching the show... I know that just writing that makes me wanna stab out my eyeballs than eat my brain.

In a hopefully-less-disturbing part of the champion's housing...

Cassiopeia lied on her bed applying her make-up perfectly...without a mirror! Go you Cassiopeia!

"Why are you even putting on makeup, it's just gonna get washed off."

"No, I don't plan to do any swimming."

"Then why are you wearing a bikini, I am pretty sure you and your damn lizard skin can't get a tan." Kat countered as she wiped the blood off her knife.

"It's snake skin, Kat! And it can get a tan!..What a barbaric idiot"

"Yeah..whatever."

Lets just skip all that shit where they are getting dressed and stuff...many painful experiences and m-rated stuff happened...and this fic is just rated T. And plus it's a bit painful to right some of this stuff DX.

This chapter was short...I was tired Dx and I guess Riven will be elimnated due to a whopping ONE vote! You can do better people...POOR RIVEN WHY RIVEN? WHY NOT DRAVEN I HAD SOME FUNNY SHIT PLANNED FOR RIVEN! I MIGHT HAVE TO BRING HER BACK XD wmahahahahahaahahmwhahahahamwhahahaahmhwhhwhwhwhmahwhahaahahahahahahah huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue bwhahahaahahahah!


	4. PPp 2: Life-Savers Taste Like Pain

"Hello this is The Noxus Shores, I'm Caitlyn and this is..."

"Vi"

The pink-haired bruiser stood next to Caitlyn in a very _racey _black bikini. Caitlyn, of course, wore a very modest purple one-piece.

"Yo, Cupcake! Cue theme song"

Caitlyn pulled out a remote and pushed a very comically-large red button.

_Noxus, Noxus, Noxussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss;_

_Welcome to the league of-MUNDO! Let's make this fun. They will regret opposing me! Violence solves everything! We'll bring them pain! Don't you find me beautiful? I do (it)! The rivers will run red! How about a drink (then)? Live and die by the blade. The early bird __**GUTS **__the worm! Eternal life, endless torture. The black rose shall bloom once more!... WE'RE ON THE CASE!_

_**Vi and Caitlyn during the commercial break...**_

"Jinx is here, kill me now..."

"Vi at least try and remain civil."

"?! CAIT!"

"What? I hate her profusley as well but she has diplomatic immunity here from being in the league."

"And you know the last time you chased her on league property you slipped and broke a finger, Vi."

"It was Wu's fault; he leaves his banana peels everywhere!"

"You still tripped and cr-"

Vi put a finger on Caitlyn's lip's causing Cait to cease her talking.

"Hush, Cait. I got a rep to protect."

Caitlyn moved Vi's finger, "Then perhaps you will think twice before you cry in public."

Vi used her whole hand to cover Cait's mouth.

Cait rolled her eyes and licked Vi's palm.

Vi drew back her hand and wiped it off on Caitlyn's swimsuit.

"Fine. I will be civil, just stop ruining my reputation."

"With pleasure, it wasn't exactly an amazing time to have to lick your hand."

"Oh come on, you know you enjoyed it you cougar ;)"

Caitlyn responded by pulling Vi's hair, Vi responded by putting Caitlyn in a headlock

"Get a room!" Piped an all too familar high-pitched voice.

Vi's eyes went bloodshot, and her left one started to twitch.

Poor Jinx.

**ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK!**

_**YOU'VE HEARD OF BRONZE LEAGUE. YOU'VE HEARD OF SILVER, GOLD, DIAMOND, PLATINUM, AND CHALLENGE TIER. BUT HAVE YOU HEARD OF...(DRUMROLL PLEASE)...WOOD? WELL NOW YOU HAVE. FOR THE WORSTEST OF THE WORSTEST SUMMONERS, CAME A TIER. A HORRIBLY NOOBY TIER. FOR TOXIC PLAYERS AND NOOBS ALIKE. WOOD TIER. BUT ONLY 5 PEOPLE CAN BE IN WOOD TIER AT ONCE. JOIN WOOD TIER TODAY! **__Supplies are limited._

Cassieopeia layed down on her specially tailored lounging chair and soaked up the rays of the sun, of course she was supposed to be working, but she charmed Draven into doing it for her. Hahaha, if only men had one extra pint of blood, her life would be much much harder than it was.

"Hey Cass!"

_'Oh, here Draven is now, disturbing my peace. Typical.'_

"I finished squeezing the lemons for the guest's lemonade! Now will you kiss me?"

"Hold your horses Draven, _how_ did you squeeze the lemons?"

"By squeezing them."

"*Face palm* I mean what did you use to squeeze them with?"

"Urgot's toes."

"Urgot doesn't even have toes."

"So?"

"I approve."

"Cool, now pucker up Cass."

Draven leaned in for a kiss only to be stopped by Cassieopeia's finger to his lips. '_So...Close...To...Lip-Locking.'_

"Don't you remember your _other _tasks?"

"Hehheh...please don't make me Cass!"

Draven was now on his knees grabbing on to Cass's tail, only to be slapped away by it.

"Get along now Draven."

"BUT I DON'T WANNA RUB SUNSCREEN ON GRAGAS'S BELLY!'

"Tough _**sh$%"**_

"Fine, a kiss isn't worth this crap."

_'OH NO! MY ONLY CHANCE TO GET OUT OF GRAGAS HITTING ON ME WHILE I RUB OIL ON HIS JELLY BELLY IS LEAVING! THINK CASS, THINK!_

"Oh Draven, come back."

"Yah?" asked Draven, already hypnotised once more by her extra-sultry voice.

"How about...a makeout sesh?"

Draven's eyes popped out of his head, oh yeah, Cass just hit the money maker.

"SOLD!"

**Meanwhile With Morganna...face palm, this is gonna be a long day at the pool...**

Morganna sat upon the look out chair in a dark purple bikini (It's actually in the splash art for the pool party skins XD! The bikini not the lookout chair, she's sitting on the edge of the pool dipping her toes in the water) since Renekton wanted a day off from being lifeguard. Man was he gonna be p.o'd when he came back to see Morganna slacking off; he took his job _really _seriously.

'_Ugh..this is sooo boring,' _Morganna thought to herself as she flipped through the pages of her 'How to Kill Your Sibling Book'. She was totally ignoring the drowning teemo that splashed around histerically in the water that no one was bothering to help. Turns out mushrooms do _not _make good floatation devices. Go figure.

"MORGANNA! MORGANNA!" Squeaked a sorrowful and juvenile voice of Amumu as he tugged at her foot.

"WHAT?" Morganna snapped back with lots of venom.

"It's Teemo! He's drowing you gotta help him!'

"*Huff* Fine."

Morganna jumped down from the lookout chair and grabbed a life-saver. Then simply pelted it at Teemo's face. "OUCH!"

"There."

Then she kicked Amumu into the pool, who thankfully, since paper doesn't do well in water, lassoed his bandage to the diving board pole and used it to pull himself out.

"Morganna!" boomed the all-too-righteous voice of Kayle

_'Oh great, the warden.'_

_**"What?"**_

Kayle walked up to her in a golden, flowing sundress. Kayle, always modest. Oh yeah, she also held a shivering, soaking-wet teemo with a black-eye in one arm.

"It was your duty to watch over the party-goers."

"Yeah, so?"

"You allowed Teemo to drown."

"_And?"_

_"_And I had to retrieve him from the bottom of the pool and give him CPR."

"Soooooooo?"

"You are obviously unfit for your job as lifeguard."

"Uh-huh," Morganna replied absent-mindedly as she read her book and plotted Kayle's demise.

"I must inform Renekton of this."

"You do that sis."

Kayle pulled out her phone and dialed Renekton and informed him of the events.

"_** #$%^&*(&^%$# %^$&*(^&%$ &#$*%(^&$# %^&$#**_**!" **

"Yes" and with that Kayle hung-up.

'_That book is quite troubling...I must have a word with the League's librarian indeed...' _

_**WHATCHA THINK? SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED BUT I AM WRITING ANOTHER FIC TOO.**_


	5. PPp 3: Crumping with VeiChan

"Hello, this is the Noxus Shores. I'm Caitlyn and thi-"

SPLASH! WOMP! SLAP! CLASH! BAM!

Caitlyn was now soaked in water and had fallen on her butt.

"VI!"

"What?" Vi responded chuckling, knowing very well what Caitlyn was gonna say.

"YOU SPLASHED ME!"

"What? *puts a hand over mouth in mock shock (hehe it rhymes)* I didn't even notice *snickers*"

"...I'm not amused. That wasn't funny."

"Then why am I laughing?"

"Well...I suppose it is better than when you cry in public XD."

"Don't go there cupcake."

"I just did."

Vi swam-sprint-leaped over to Caitlyn and grabbed her by her ankles, pulling her into the pool.

Caitlyn resurfaced breathing in heavily, but not too heavily that she was gasping, and brushed her wet hair out of her eyes. She looked angry. Poor Vi.

"You look pissed Cait XD, glad I could help achieve that XD."

"VI STOP IT! YOUR MAKING ME WET!"

"Is that all it takes?"

"NOT THAT WAY!" Caitlyn slapped a chuckling Vi with a flurry of hands.

"And to think I felt flattered ;D"

_**Meanwhile at the Outdoor Ionian Pool Resort Meditation Class...**_

_'Well, I guess this is one way to repay the ionians...' _thought Riven, the possibly _evil _albino.

"Breath in and breath out"

*GROUP INHALE*

*GROUP EXHALE*

"Now sit down"

"Sit down how?" piped a high-pitched, obnoxious sounding voice. A yordle voice. The high-pitched, obnoxious, yordle voice of Kennen.

"Meditation style."

"What? :|"

"*Face palm* Criss...Cross apple-sauce please."

"WHY ARE YOU BEING SO RUDE? I ONLY ASKED A QUESTION!"

"What?-I-I just-ughhh...sit down Kennen..."

"Fine you meanie."

Kennen sat down stubbornly into a meditation pose. An angry meditation pose.

"Now breath in *GROUP INHALE*, and breath out *GROUP EXHALE* And continue until I tell you to stop."

"*Inhale* *Exhale* *Inhale* *Exhale* Oh great now we're letting a _noxian, _of all people_, _boss_ us _around?" voiced Yi, still angry about what Noxus did to his village and home.

"I'm not one of _them _anymore, now sit down and stop disturbing the group or leave." Riven commanded in a soldier like voice.

"Make me."

"I would wish to refrain from sush unpleasantries. Don't _make _me act upon them."

"What'd you just call me fool? You calling me unpleasant? Huh is that it?"

"I didn't call you anyth-"

"So you were rude to Kennen, now me, and you're denying it? Well maybe we don't wanna be treated like that."

"YEAH!" piped in Kennen.

"Hush-up short-stack, I'm talking."

"I apologize Yi, I will refrain from such behavior in the future," Riven apologized, resisting the urge to punch out his face.

"Thankyou."

"Now say huuuuuuuuuuuuuum, and then say awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe."

"And remember to inhale and exhale!"

*INHALE* *HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMM* *EXHALE* *AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*

"THAT IS RACIST YOU DAMN ALBINO!" Yelled Wukong, eating a banana as he meditated. Typical.

"*Face palm* What is it now?"

" YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF MONKEYS! HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?"

'_I don't sleep at night...'_

"How so, sir?"

"HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWE! IT SOUNDS LIKE A MONKEY! YOU MIGHT AS WELL SCRATCH YOUR ARM PITS AND EAT A BANANA!"

'_Goodbye banana.'_ Wukong kissed his banana and threw it out of sight.

"NO NOT A BANANA! YOU JUST WASTED A BANANA! THE STARS WILL AVENGE THE BANANA!" Yelled Soraka, who looked like she was dying from anger and sorrow and hate at the wasting of the beautiful banana.

"CHIKITA BOBITA!"

A giant two ton banana made of star-stuff fell on wukong crushing him.

Riven ran to Wukong and shook him furiously, "Wukong, you still there bud?"

"..._I..I..if I don't make it...tell ahri...tell her...I love...her..." _Wukong choked out suffocating from the giant Chikita Bobita Star Banana on top of him.

"Um...Oka-"

"_banana nut muffins."_

"Oh ummm...k?"

"SORAKA!"

"YES?"

"STOP DANCING YOUR BANANA DANCE THIS INSTANCE AND HEAL WUKONG!"

"NO!"

"WE IONIANS ARE SICK OF YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS!"

"CRUMP TIME!" Yelled Zed as him and shadow closed in on Riven.

He started doing what looked like a rooster walk, dancing, and erm...fighting?

A shruiken flew by Zed's face armor thingy helmet thing, "STOP THIS INSTANCE!" yelled the eye of the twilight.

"I WANNA CRUMP HER!"

"Why would I let you do it? It was my idea"

"Because I'm better at it."

"How so?"

"Master says-excuse me, _said- _so!"

"Well Master's dead!"

"CUZ YOU KILLED HIM!"

"*Indistinct grunting and arguing*"

"If I may intervene...have a rap battle! It solves all!" Offered Akali.

*Synchronised Nod*

_Yo!_

_Names Zed!_

_I win every game, you know why? _

_Cuz I'm perma fed_

_I'm Op, it's a fact_

_I cruise down the lanes hoppin shadow from shadow like it's my personal caddilac_

_I'm so epic, hell, if I wanted it, they'd make me the cover-boy for IMac_

_Go ahead Shen, try and beat that!_

"8/10!"

"Very well, Zed, I shall."

_Names Shen..._

_I'ma flippin Ninja Yo_

_You best get ready for the show_

_Just hope you're my bro, cuz i pulverize foe after foe_

_Just got back from summoner's rift 87/1, _

_Haha, a new personal low!_

"8/10!"

"Damn, a tie."

"Rematch?"

"Sure"

_Guess who? _

_Zed's who!_

_They call me master of shadow's_

_So stealthy, so lithe_

_I run through the night forever unseen, _

_Not even a sound when I draw my sword from it's sheath_

_I'm the air and you're like clay_

_You'll never ever catch me_

_Not tommorrow, not today!_

_I'm fast and dangerous_

_If you catch my drift ladies ;)_

"9/10"

_I'm the Eye of the Twilight_

_When I pick up my sword it's like a bird taking flight_

_Like a ufo on the darkest night_

_Avoiding some then picking a fight_

_Metal vs Metal, clashing of cold hard steel_

_But every life I take, every person I kill_

_Dumbs down a bit what I can feel_

_So I go through my life fighting side by side with Kennen and Akali_

_And do you know what Kennen's like?_

_It's like dude, take a chill pill._

"10/10"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU _**# !$%^&*%$#! !%$^&#! I DESERVED TO WIN!"**_

"Well you lost."

Shen turned to where riven was standing.

"Huh, no Riven..."

"FIND HER IONIANS! FIND HER YOU TWINKIES! FIND HER!"

_**Meanwhile in a random broom closet...**_

_'I escaped those crazies, nice and alone, nice and al-_

_"_**HEY RIVEN IT'S ME LUX! HEY HOW ARE YOU! HEY! I WAS JUST LIKE TALKING TO VEI-CHAN!"**

"I TOLD YOU MY NAME IS NOT VEI-CHAN! WTF IS A VEI-CHAN?"

**"KK VEI-CHAN! SAY HI TO RIVEN XD!"**

_"FINE."_

_**I took vei-chan from a nother fan-fic, just because it deserved repeating and spreading-of-the-word since he kinda forgot about his fan-fic and stopped posting mid fanfic Dx But you know it was still an amazing fanfiction it tickled me pink, or should i say, purple? mwhahahahaahahah hue hue! and remember review if u like! And I would like to give a shout out to beauty-half-betrayed, a loyal fan and an all around nice person! I think, I mean he/she could be faking their kindness...but I doubt it XD**_


	6. Pp4: They Forgot My Olive

"Hello, this is The Noxus Shores, I'm Caitlyn and this is..."

Caitlyn put the mic up to Vi's face, and (for the second time) Vi didn't respond. No, she just stood there looking into space like she was a caveman, or in Vi's case, cavewoman.

Caitlyn was in no mood to go through the long process called...well...she didn't really have a name for it yet, but you know, it will one day. So she just hit the bruiser on the back of the head with the microphone.

"OUCH! WHAT THE _**F*&K **_WAS _**THAT **_FOR?"

"You didn't respond and I am really not in the mood (See? I told ya so) to deal with your nonesense."

"..._|_"

"VI PUT THAT FINGER AWAY, WE ARE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!"

"*Smirk* You mean this finger, right here?"

"Yes that finger, what are you an, idiot?"

"Well-"

"No, why would I ask such a silly question, of course you're an idiot, I already knew _that."_

"Well at least I'm not an uptight _**b$tch**_ with a rifle stuck so far up my __that I can't have any fun."

Caitlyn turned a shade of red, and not just pink like Vi's hair, but red, like Kat's hair, or ahri's bathing suit.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH MY RIFLE VI? YOU CAN TAKE IT AN-"

_**COMMERCIAL BREAK:**_

_**YOU'RE ON SUMMONERS RIFT, YOU'RE CHASING YI, OR TEEMO, OR VI-"**_HEY THAT'S ME!"_**-SHUTUP VI! OR VAYNE, OR VOLI, OR LUCIAN, OR A JINX THAT JUST GOT A KILL, AND YOU ARE SOOOO CLOSE TO GETTING THEM, SO YOU IGNITE...AND IT'S SOOOOOOOO CLOSE TO KILLING THEM AND THEN...IT STOPS! IT JUST STOPS! AND THEY ESCAPE TO THEIR TURRET! WITH ONLY 1 HP LEFT! AND YOU WANT TO PUNCH THE WALL SO HARD THAT YOUR FIST BREAKS BECAUSE THAT AWESOME AMAZING KILL JUST GOT AWAY! WELL FEAR NOT SUMMONERS, I HAVE YOU'RE SOLUTION RIGHT HERE. IT'S SINGED'S ANTI-ANTI-FLAMMABLE SPRAY! SPRAY THIS ON YOUR OPPONENT WHEN NO ONES LOOKING AND BOOM! THERE YOU GO! IGNITES WILL ALWAYS WORK, BURNING YOUR OPPONENT TO THE GROUND, KILLING THEM RIGHT WHERE THEY STAND..LIKE A KATARINA ULT! Keep in mind that 'Anti-Anti-Flammable Spray' does not actually work on ignite because ignite is not real fire.**_

_**IN THE CHAMPIONS HOUSING LOUNGE...**_

"That was the worst thing possible..._**ever**__, _Garen tried to rub sunscreen on my back...and when I stabbed him, Renekton, _finally_ appeared during Morganna's 'break' and punished _me _for it, like _**I'm**_ a small child or something!"

"YOU THINK _**THAT**_ WAS BAD? I GOT CRUMPED BY IONIANS AFTER A GIANT BANANA LANDED ON WUKONG, AND _**THEN **_I SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN A CLOSET WITH LUX SINGING TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS IN THE DARK TO IN IMPRISONED VEIGAR, WHO SHE CALLED VEI-CHAN!"

"YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW SUFFERING LIKE DDDDRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAVEN DOES! DRAAAVEN HAD TO RUB OIL ON _GRAGAS'S BELLY _AND THEN WHEN DRAAAVEN TRIED TO LOOK AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR, GRAGAS WALKED UP BEHIND HIM, AND WITH ALL HIS UGLY, CRACKED _**DRAVEN'S BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL MIRROR!"**_ Draven hunched over and buried his face into his hands and started crying, "And, Lulu trimmed my m-m-mustache...*sobs*."

"Oh stop _**b$%&&ing,**_ I had to deal with way worse."

"_**Like what?**__**"**_ Questioned _all_ of the champions of Noxus.

"They forgot to put the olive on my martini." Glumly replied Cass, fiddling with her fingernails.

Katarina jumped over and tried to kill Cassieopia. Draven tried to get Cass's mirror from her pocket while she was distracted with trying to keep Kat from killing her, which queued Leblanc to jump in, turning into two seperate leblanc's and trying to wrench the mirror out of Draven's hands to use it for...well..whatever she uses them for. Darius saw his little brother in trouble, and trouble caused death, and Darius was the only one allowed to kill or hurt his brother, so he jumped in his axe heaved high above his head. He was about to land on Leblanc with the axe and make her go 'splat', but then Beatrice, Swain's bird, caught Darius, just before he could land the blow, and swooped him off to somewhere. Riven saw the oppurtunity to hit Singed and get revenge for Ionia and herself. She ran at him with her huge-and I mean huge- blade in hand, ready to split him in two. She lunged at him only to be headbutted out of the way by Mundo, who just kept running.

"MUNDO SOORWWY, MUNDO CHASING SQUIRREL!"

Vlad was hungry, and he saw that in all the chaos, not a single drop of blood had been spilled, so he was going to make that happen. He went over to Sion who, again, was sleeping through all the chaos. And punched him in the throat. Sion woke up. He woke up pissed. Vlad was nowhere in sight, he just walked, er slided, er floated, no er..um...'puddled(?)' away.

Sion ran through all the Noxians swinging his mace-hammer-axe thingy. But the only part was, to Vlad's dismay, it wasn't his weapon thingy. No it was a super-soaker. Yet somehow, with a small little foam object, he managed to barrel through all of the champions and knock them aside.

"I am going to ask this once, and _only once_...WHO WOKE ME UP INTO ALL OF THIS _**S #T**_?!"

"UHHHHHH..." Mumbled all of the champions in freakily perfect unision, still stuck in their fighting positions, or for some, their 'getting the crap kicked out of me' positions.

Before Sion ever got his answer, the loud speaker boomed, "ALL CHAMPIONS REPORT TO THE ELIMINATION ROOM FOR ELIMINATION."

All the champions groaned and moaned as they got up, some were in actualy pain, others were lazy. They all purposley walked slowly and stopped to do the occasional task on their way to the elimination room, they had no reason to be on time. Noxians were _never ever _expected to on time, it's part of maintaining their _**bad^$$**_ reputations. Besides, whos needs to be punctual if you can just kill the person making the schedule. Nuff' said.

_**IN THE ELIMINATION ROOM:**_

The champions gathered around a small stage set up for the elimination announcements.

"Here's the deal," boomed Vi, "No one is ever safe, cause safety is for wimps, but one person will be eliminated each time, until ya know, we get down to the last one, is that okay?"

All the champions nodded their heads, and for the few that didn't, well they'll have to deal with it.

"I will now read off the following champions who did not get eliminated, or were not nominated for being eliminated:.."

"Katarina."

"Swain."

"Talon."

"Leblanc."

"Sion."

"Cassieopia."

"Draven."

"Darius."

"Warwick."

"Singed."

"Vladimir."

"And..."

"MUNDO!"

Riven, Morganna, and Urgot trudged up to the stage dragging their feet, everyone except for Urgot, because he doesn't have feet.

"Now, don't feel bad, every other contestant got 6 or more complaints about their..._'customer service',..._BUT, You guys got the most complaints sooo...PREPARE TO GET DUNKED!"

"Was that really necessary, that is the stupidest, most ludacris catch phrase I've heard," yelled Swain from his seat, wearing a scowl of disgust and disapproval on his face.

"Well, _bub,_ IF you don't to be eliminated, you'll keep your comments to yourself."

A knife whizzed past Vi's face. No one knew who threw it, but let's be honest, we all know it was Kat...OR WAS IT? DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

"..."

"I know it was you Kat."

"That's absurd."

"No, it's called common sense."

"Which you are lacking in..."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! EVEN A BLIND MONKEY WOULD KNOW THAT YOU THREW THAT AT ME!"

"And so what if I did?" Katarina offered a challenging smirk.

_'Vi, remember your anger managment classes, remember the happy times, remember when Caitlyn actually gave you a celebritory cupcake for not beating up Jinx when she tied your shoelaces together...remember the happy times. Okay I'm good'_

"Then I guess I would have to kill you, Kat, or maybe I should just find Garen..."

Katarina's eyes went wide with terrior. She lost her grin and clamped her mouth shut.

'_He...is...she wouldn't...she __**would**__.'_

"To continue, Morganna, you had a total of 19 complaints issued, Riven, you had a total of 67 counting the talking banana's, and Urgot, you had a complaint total of 467, which somehow exceded the amount of actual party-goers..."

"How so?"

"The lemonade Urgot, the lemonade."

"What?"

"Everyone-and I mean everyone- said that the lemonade tasted like and I qoute, 'Urgot's toes'."

"But...I DON'T EVEN HAVE TOES!"

Cassieopiea stiffled a giggle and stared at Draven, who merely shrugged in response.

"WELL URGOT...GET DUNKED!"

_**Urgot's Confession:**_

_**Leafblanca can suckers fit.**_

_**Translation:**_

_**Leblanc can suck it.**_

_**Urgot's REAL confession:**_

_**Suffer...Torture...Death...Tomatoes...Leaf...CasaBlanca...pain...blood...Noxus...cat food cans...blood suckers...Wells of blood...*coughs*...shoes that fit...goodbye.**_


	7. Skinning Squirrels Is Oh So Fun

"Helllllllo Champions, this is the Noxus Shores, and I am your new co-host Ryze, and this your other new co-host Fiora."

"I can introduce myzelf, _Ryze."_

"Well then why didn't you?"

" Vecauze I waz beezy."

"You were what?"

"_Beezy."_

"What?"

"Beezy, you know, like...I waz too beezy to introduce myzelf."

"You mean '_busy'?"_

"Yez, like I zed, beezy."

"_Busy."_

_"Beezy"_

_"Biz-E."_

_"Beee-ze."_

"...:|"

"...:|"

"Anyway...we have just finished our pool party segement, and we are now starting a _new _challenge for the contestents, for those of you who missed all of those we have prepared a small summary."

Ryze clapped. Nothing happened. Ryze clapped again nothing happened.

"Allow me, Rice."

Fiora clapped queuing the lights to turn off, and a giant projection to start.

In the darkness you could hear the slight murmur of, "It's Ryze..."

_**RECENTLY ON THE NOXUS SHORES:**_

_**"URGOT, GET DUNKED!"**_

_**"LEBLANC CAN SUCK IT"**_

_***URGOT 'STEPS' INTO A CAR AND DRIVES AWAY***_

_***KAT STABS CASSIEOPIEA***_

_***DRAVEN CRIES***_

_***MALPHITE TAKES A SIP OF LEMONADE, CHOKES TO DEATH, AND THE PARAMEDICS ARRIVE***_

_**AND MORE...ON THE NOXUS SHORES...STAY TUNED**_

"Welcome back summoners, I'm Ryze and this is Fiora, and she will enlighten you on our new challenge for the champions."

"Salut, Summoners! Ze newest challene for the contestents is...*drum roll*...A CAMPING TREEP!"

"*COUGHS* Trip *COUGHS*."

"Shudup Rice!"

"IT'S RYZE!"

"Zat's what I zed!"

_**IN THE CHAMPIONS HOUSING...**_

"It says here that our newest challenge will be a camping trip." Declared Swain

"_**#$^%&%^#$&*&$#%^$&*$#**_" Yelled Cass and Draven in freakily perefect unision (again.)

"No, I don't think that's what marshmellows are used for..."

"A little camping..no problem." Katarina grinned, knowing it was far away from Garen...sweet sanctaury...and it would annoy the hell out of Cass. How she loved it when Cass got annoyed.

"Oh please Kat, you are only happy because there will be plenty of helpless animals to skin," remarked a rather pissed Cass.

Katarina's eyes gleamed with joy, she hadn't thought of that...

"WIKE SQWUIRRELS? MUNDO WUV SQWUIRRELS! ALMOST AS MUCH AS MUNDO WUV VAYNE!"

An awkward silence was shared between the Noxians before Darius spoke up, "The woods? Is that the best they've got?"

Just as leblanc went to answer the loud speaker boomed.

"OH, WE FORGOT ONE THING, IT IS FILLED WITH HORRIBLE MUTATIONS AND ANGRY MONKEYS! OH AND ZOMBIES, AND SUPER MUNTANT BEHEMOTHS (Yes, a Fallout 3 reference), AND ALL SORTS OF STUFF!"

"So no baby animals to skin?" asked Katarina to no one in paticular, carving lewd pictures into the wall with her knife.

"NO, THERE ARE SOME, BUT THEY MIGHT EAT YOU!" Responded the loud speaker.

"Cool..."

"Well shit, this sucks...we're all gonna get eaten alive...and-" Singed never got to finish.

"AND ALL THE UGLY WILL CRACK DRAVEN'S BEAUTIFUL MIRROR!"

"HEY THAT'S MY MIRROR! GIVE IT BACK YOU _**#%$%**_"

"STOP YOU'RE COMPLAINING! WE ARE NOXIANS AND WE'RE NOT GONNA GET EATEN BY UGLY, DUMB MONSTERS! WE'RE GONNA EAT THEM FIRST!" Shouted Darius.

"NOXUS!" Yelled Darius.

"NOXUS" Yelled Talon

"NOXUS!" Yelled Swain.

"NOXUS!" Yelled Katarina.

"...*snore* NOXUS..*snore." mumbled Sion, half-asleep.

"MUNDO!" Yelled Mundo.

"BLACK ROSE!" Yelled the two leblancs.

The rest of the contestants just stared at them, noticing them and seperating them, the completely insane people, from the only slightly insane people. Casseiopia just rolled her eyes, for she was the only sane one there. Kinda.

Just as Leblanc was about to say someting, again, Riven interupted,

"BLOOD FOR NOXUS! TO HELL WITH IONIA!"

Everyone stared at Riven awkwardly, then Cass spoke up, "You're still a dumb exile."

"..._|_" (once again, not a you-know-what, it's a middle finger XD)

Cass just rolled her eyes in response.

_**30 MINUTES LATER IN THE CHAMPIONS HOUSING...**_

"Hey Talon...I didn't know you wore...pink underwear...?"

Draven said as he held a pink thong in his hand as Talon sifted through his suitcase.

"I uh-I..uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...u-"

Draven slapped Talon in the face to fix his glitch.

"Umm...they're aren't mine...they're for a friend..."

"Which friend?"

"Mundo."

Draven's eyes went wide with terror at the mental image and then started crying again.

_**ANOTHER ROOM IN THE HOUSING...**_

Leblanc folded up her clothes and gathered her items and placed them in a bag. She then placed that bag into another bag. And then that bag into a box. And that box into a safe. And that safe into a suitcase. And that suitcase into a duffle bag. And that dufflebag into a cage made of ethreal chains.

"There, that should do perfectly."

"Leblanc, what are you doing," questioned the all-too-nosy-voice of Swain

"...Nothing..."

"You're clearly doing something."

"Oh Swain, ye of little faith, would _I _really lie to _you _of all people?"

"Yes Leblanc, yes you would, infact, you would do it without a second thought...or a first thought!"

"No I would not."

"You're doing it right now."

"No I am not."

"Yes, you are."

"_No, I am not Swain, and I seriously suggest you back off, because you are about to cross a line_."

Swain failed to notice the real Leblanc slipping away with her cage of ethreal chains. She cackled manically as she left the room. Leblanc stopped in her tracks, right in front of Swain's-rather peeved-'bird', Beatrice.

"Polly want a cracker?" Leblanc mocked.

The bird attacked her. Like, really attacked her, like it was even fighting dirty going for her eyes.

Poor leblanc.


End file.
